Half Pain
by chibi-tsurara-59
Summary: AU SasuGaara The most painful kind of love is the one you know you can never have.
1. Chapter 1

Half Pain

A/n: Woot, new SasuGaa fic. I'm sorry to say Mad World is dead, big apologies to all those you have been loyal and reviewed though all the chapters, but its time for me to move on. Hope you enjoy.

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A red haired figure with a backpack slung over one shoulder trudged groggily down a dark street. All activity had ceased here hours ago. Tired the figure collapsed on a park bench, bag sliding down to the grimy sidewalk. "Shit" he muttered to himself before being enveloped by sleep. Illuminated by the faint glow of a dust-encased streetlight that flickered erratically as moth aimlessly buzzed around it.

The next morning, Haku, the owner of a nearby thrift shop noticed a familiar red head outside. Going and leaning over the bench he smiled happily as tired black rimmed eyes stared up at him. " Hey, Gaara."

"Hey." Gaara replied sleepily. " How can you be so cheerful in the morning?"

" I guess I'm just a morning person. Why don't you come inside?" Gaara stood sleepily and followed Haku inside his Thrift shop and up stairs to the spare rooms he had fashioned into a type of apartment, Haku grabbed a couple of sodas as Gaara collapsed in a chair.

" So what happened?"

" Me and dad got into it last night. Long story short he kicked my ass out."

"Really? Your dad kicked you out?"

" Yeah. That bastard is crazy." Gaara replied taking a lazy sip from a soda.

" Well you can stay here if you like, I don't mind."

" Ok, but let me work in your shop some. I hate having to free load off of you all the time."

" If you want I'm not going to stop you. Take a shower and take it easy today though, you had a rough night."

Haku left and went downstairs to open the shop for the day. Gaara finished his soda and walked over to the couch and collapsed into heap. To tired to do anything else he let a more comfortable sleep take him over.

**()()() Next day at school ()()()**

People swarmed in the hallways as Gaara wove his way to his locker, spun in the combination and gathered the things he would need for the next few classes. Naruto strolled up behind him with a mouth full of granola. " Yo, What up Gaara." Gaara gave him a blank stare before slamming his locker shut and walking away. Naruto followed him though the halls to their first class. "Bad night last night? You seem more Gaara-ish then usual."

" Put lightly." Gaara replied.

" What happened?"

"…"

" Come on tell me."

"…."

" Come on!"

"…."

" I'll shut up if you do!"

" My dad kicked me out."

" Man! That sucks!"

The two walked into World History class and took their seats. Naruto hung over Gaaras desk, and continued to talk regardless of what he had said. Gaara put up with Naruto most of the time, and gave him a slight idea of what was going on in his life, but never anything huge or reveling. Naruto was annoying, loud, and stupid at times; but it was always nice having someone to talk to.

" So do you have a place to stay? You can always stay at my place if you want."

" No, I have a place."

" Ok."

At that moment Sasuke walked in, surrounded by a pack of rabid fan girls. He just glared at them and walked over to where Naruto and Gaara were.

" Hey."

" Hey, Sasuke."

Gaaras POV

" Hi." I mutter quietly. Sasuke is more Naruto's friend; but since Naruto seems to hang onto me like a leech I seem to spend a lot of time around Sasuke. That in itself is like a cruel heaven. Since I knew of the Uchiha's existence I have had a heart-wrenching crush on him. But I know I can't have him, I never could, and he would never want me. He has fan girls hanging over him all the time, if he wanted someone he has several more then willing patrons. Who would want me anyway? I am just this weak, defenseless little freak that can't deal with his own pain with out razors or pills, that just take it all away. But in the past few weeks the fulfillment my mind gives me is enough. Nothing can go wrong in my mind unless I let it, and in my mind everything is perfect.

"…so anyway I heard of this really cool dude who does pricing and tattoos and crap for cheap with out the parental consent and stuff." Naruto is going on about some strange scheme again. I really would like to find out where he learns this stuff. " You want a Tattoo, right Gaara?"

" Yeah."

" Ok! Cool! I want to get my ear pierced. So how about Saturday night we meet up by that reggae shop and I'll show y'all were it is."

" Alright."

" I'll go." Sasuke states plainly, " Can't get any body work done though, my brother would kill me. Slow and painfully. But I'll tag along. Better then sitting at home on my ass."

" Ok, Saturday. Reggae shop. 8:30. See you then." Everyone then took their seats as the teacher walked in and went to the board, quickly writing a short phrase for the class to read and then demanding our homework. I sigh heavily and fish it out of my bag, preparing for the bad grade I know it deserves.

**()()() Later, still gaara POV ()()()**

" I'm back." I say in a louder then usual tone to alert Haku to my presence.

" Oh hey. Nice day at school?"

" Yeah. Naruto found a tattoo artist that will ink for cheap."

" Cool, you going to get one?"

" Probably."

" I pulled out the extra mattress and laid it in my room so you don't have to sleep on the couch."

"Thanks."

" Won't be here tonight. Zabuza wanted me."

" Ok."

" Well take care." Haku grabbed a few things and headed out the door. Haku works really hard, I feel guilty free loading off of him as much as I do. But Haku doesn't make me feel bad about, in fact he is the most maternal figure in my life. I mean that in the best of all possible way, considering the lack of good people in my life; and the fact that Haku has a liking of cross dressing. But that's beside the point.

Hakus room is similar to many others, white walls covered in posters, floor covered in clothes, two mattresses lying on the floor. I sit on one of them and take out my schoolbooks and start to do the required reading, but my mind wanders elsewhere. Like to what design for the tattoo I want, I haven't put much thought into, since I never thought I would get one till I was 18. Really, what to get, such a hard question. I want something that will scream out my soul to the world in a simple design of flesh and ink, which will be with me for the rest of my night.

Suddenly it hits me, I pull out one of my many notebooks and turn to a page halfway though it, to the most beautiful page. The Asian character 'Ai'; love, written in my blood, scrawled across the page. Love is all I ever really wanted in my life, that page was created from the angst of love I will never have. That will be my tattoo, and I will get it on my forehead for all the world to see.

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Yay! Such a nice first chapter I think. I don't know how I thought of it but I thought of giving an AU twist to how Gaara got his Tattoo. Going to have to look up some stuff on tattoo so I get it all accurate. And I sort of got the ideafor Gaara living with Haku from the fic School Of Freaks, go read it its good; and Haku is supposed to be older then Gaara just so you know. Well review my loves!

B/N: Very good chapter…only 2 mistakes. REVIEW PEOPLE! Plzzzz!


	2. Chapter Next

Half Pain Chapter Next

A/n: Wow, it took me a month to write this crappy little chapter. I promise I'll update sooner next time!

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Gaaras POV

" Hey, shouldn't you be meeting people right now?" Haku commented as him and I sat on the couch watching some action movie with lots of low budget effects on a lazy Saturday night. Waiting for 8:30 to roll around so I can go out and get inked.

" Not till eight thirty." I motioned towards the clock on top of the TV, " Its only 7:20."

" Nope it's actually 8:20, that clocks off an hour."

" The fuck?"

" Sorry I didn't tell you."

" Don't worry about it." I darted off the couch and darted out the door and out into the street, the reggae shop isn't too far from Hakus shop; but I don't think I will make it on time. After sprinting for a few blocks I slow down out of breath, I am so pathetically out of shape. So as I continue to walk down the street I start to look around and notice all the decorative graffiti scrawled across the walls. The reggae shop, and Haku's, are in the artsy district; all the cool artist and local bands hang out here, and some people just sit around staring into space taking in the atmosphere. It's been a while since I've been down this way.

After catching my breath I stand up and keep running, only to trip over a something a few feet away, and fall flat on my face. Fuck it, I'm going to lay here for a while. Why the hell am I so tired today? Hmmm…..did I even eat anything today? Or sleep?…..Yeah that is probably why. I should really start taking better care of myself.

" Yo, Gaara!" An all to familiar voice called to me. I titled my head to see Naruto come running up the street in my direction, followed by Sasuke. I quickly stand up and brush the dirt off my clothes. "I slipped" I mutter.

" We were wondering about you man. We were about to come and get you!"

" Sorry the clock was wrong."

" So where are we off to now?" Sasuke cuts in.

" Follow me my homies!" Naurto bellowed and started walk off in a seemingly random direction.

" Homies?" Sasuke looks at me with a skeptical look, I mearly shrug in reply before we both start to follow Naruto. I'm fighting a losing battle with a blush forcing its way to my face. Though I have no clue what I am embarrassed about; maybe Sasuke seeing me laying face down on a sidewalk, or more likely embarrassed just to be around him. Erg! This is so confusing! Maybe I should start talking or something, so I don't seem like a quiet little freak.

" Ear muffs?" Sasukes voice breaks though my wall of thought, looking curiously at the designs I had drawn on my hand earlier. At least I don't have to start a conversation now.

" Cherita wore ear muffs in that movie Donnie Darko. Cherita was cool."

" So that explains the 'were is Donnie?' written on your arm."

" Yeah. Don't know why I put that."

" I should see that movie sometime."

" You should."

Silence follows, Such an engaging conversation. But being me, I'm too nervous to start up a new conversation. So I let the silence engulf as we walk silently behind naruto; listening to naruto rant to himself; completely aware neither of us are listening or care.

" If y'all are wondering where the fuck were going, we're almost there." Naruto calls out to us before going on about some topic involving ramen and other topics that many people wouldn't care about or notice, but have significant value to him.

Surveying the surroundings, I have an idea of where we are. The really artsy district of the city. The graffiti covered walls, in all their colorful glory, are enough to make someone feel like they are on an acid trip. Like the one that my eyes on transfixed on, of the smiling mushroom that looks like it was exposed to too much radiation. I should have know I would have been dragged here for a tattoo.

" So… what sort of design are you getting inked?" Sasuke tries at another conversation. I almost reach for the design in my pocket, but I hesitate before I pull it out. Showing someone a design drawn in your own blood isn't one of the smartest things to do. Probably worse if it isn't your own blood.

" Uh…I was thinking something like an Asian character or something. On my forehead probably."

"Forehead? Strange place."

" Yeah."

" But cool."

" Thanks."

Once again silence becomes our constant companion as we walk. Until Naruto shatters it announcing that we have arrived. We're standing in front of a big old building that looks like it's about to fall down. Naruto pushes open the door and Sasuke follows. For a moment I stand outside and look, before following in suit.

I think I have been here before, it's a sort of café; but this crowd is a lot different then what I see though the week. Usually it's just the emo high school kids sitting around drinking coffee writing angsty poetry and talking with friends. The night group scattered around the café now is a different crowd; less books and more leather. Cigarette smoke hangs in a thick fog about 4 feet off the floor; about a dozen halogen lamps on the dark ceiling provide the only illumination. An upside down field of miniature searchlights cutting though nicotine fog. It's hard to see across the room, yet Naruto keeps leading us until we reach a door and pass into a completely different universe.

This is a calm, clear room; a few people sit around lazily, looking half asleep. One includes a woman with tattoos littering her entire body. She looks up and smiles at us.

" Hey Naruto. I was startin' to wonder where ya were!"

" Oh, we came alright. These are my friends! Gaara and Sasuke." He points to Sasuke and I at the mention of our names.

The woman stands up and stretches, her shirt riding up to expose even more tattoos on her stomach. "So any of y'all getting any tattoos or shit done?"

" I want a tattoo."

" Great, I'll get you set up in just a minute!"

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A/n: Crappy chappie, I know. Nothing really happened, at all. Oh well I'll make the next chapter better. Review please and love and ramen to all.

B/N: Kellie here. I hope I got all the errors, I have to leave like, right now. Yay for chibi tsu-chan, review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/n: After much slacking on my part…the new chapter of half pain! Tada!

(Gaaras POV)

"Ok, I'll get ya all set up in a sec." The large woman traversed the room with her small hurried steps, opening a small metal case, and pulled out a needle gun (a/n: Is that what you would call it? I don't know much about getting tattoos, so I will be guessing all though this.) and came back over and sat in a chair, loading it with a sterile needle. " There, sit." She motioned with her head to a metal chair leaning against the wall. I unfolded it and sat near her.

Chills crawled up my spine. Partly from the cold metal chair; and part from my nervousness. Why I am nervous alludes me; all the times I've sliced myself open and watched blood drip my arm, one little tattoo can't be much different. But it is someone else inflicting the pain on me, maybe that's the difference, the part that's scaring me. Of course my masochistic side with dancing with glee at the thought of it.

" So, what sort of a design we're you thinking of?" The Woman's voice snaps me out of my muse. Rummaging though my pocket I produce the design and hand it to her.

" I was thinking on the forehead" she looks over it critically, eyes shifting from me, to the paper, and back to me.

" Can do. Odd place though, you sure you want it there?" I nod. " Ok, be ready in a sec. Have to transfer this to a stencil, then I'll be all set."

Meanwhile naruto is talking to the pale guy with piercing covering his face, probably about getting his own piercing. Imagining Naruto getting a piercing is amusing, I bet he'll be kicking and screaming though it all.

" I have to go get the gun." The pierced guy says and starts to walk away.

"G-gun?" Naruto sputters out.

" Yeah! The piercing gun!" He replies with a sadistic gleam in his eye before vanishing.

" So, you're really getting a tattoo?" I lean my head back to look at Sasuke, this is the first thing he has said since we got here. His voice is so deep and sexy.

"Yeah."

"They're permanent."

"No shit." Sasuke looks slightly shocked, I just feel stupid at saying that.

Silence permeates the room. I lean back up to avoid eye contact. Eye contact equals nervousness, nervousness is not good. So I sit there waiting, fighting a blush I know is coming from no where; all is futile when Sasuke speaks.

"Naruto makes us do a lot of stupid stuff. Remember that time he made us watch that stupid online thing, Queer duck?"

I think a minute, recalling the day that happened, then laugh quietly. That only was that the most idiotic thing I had ever seen, but I think that's the day I realized I liked Sasuke. All of us sitting around Naruto's computer laughing, me stealing glances at him. Back then I used to think I had a chance to win his heart, but I know that will never happen. So I try not to want him, try so hard to forget him. But I cant. So many nights thinking of him wont go away, wondrous thoughts that got me though the worst of the worst. So I love in secret. A secret love that I know will never be returned, I know I'm holding onto a dream that wont come true. Because love doesn't love me, it is a game I lost horribly at.

"Oh! Queer duck!" Naruto scampers over to us, "yall still remember that? I love that thing! Especially the theme song!" naruto starts to sing the theme and Sasuke laughs, I don't. Slowly I am sinking into a void, somewhere in my soul. The void only Sasukes love could fill.

" Alright, back." The woman comes back with the design in hand, she transfers it to my forehead and loads the tattooing device with red ink. "Ready? It's going to hurt in the beginning. But after a few minutes your brain will release that happy chemical."

"Endorphins." I correct her, happy chemical just sounds so…I don't know…happy I guess. And I am not happy right now. My mind is ball of hurt and swarming angst right now.

" Right…so you're ready?"

I nod, and she starts. The needle pierces the flesh and leaves a small bit of ink below the skin then moves on to do the same to other virgin skin. It hurts, but I like this pain. Right now I don't have to focus on all my emotional pain, I can just focus on the physical pain. And drown in that world of pain, and drown out all of my thought, broken dreams and lost loves. And after a while I drift into bliss, these happy chemicals are great.

"AHHHHH!" A scream comes from the other side of the room, I turn to see naruto holding a piercing gun latched to his ear.

" Shit! The gun jammed!" the pieced guy screams, throwing his hands up in frustration. Naruto is standing there with a confused, anxious look on his face; almost like choji in a health food store. The pierced guy drags naruto to the back to try and get the piercing gun off.

" That makes me glad I didn't get a piercing." Sasuke states with an air of amusement. " I was thinking about one but decided against it."

"Why?" I ask, "You'd look cool with one." I refrain from using the words sexy, hot or mighty-god-of-sex-that-dominates-my-mind; even though those are the first words that come to mind when I think of him. With or without a piercing.

"My brother would rip it out and then kick my ass. So no point in it."

"Oh." More silence. Only broken by the hum of the needle, it feels like the tattoo is almost half done. Such a shame, this bliss is so…blissful. Pure ecstasy.

After a few more minutes naruto comes up and taps my shoulder, grinning and showing off the new metal stud in one of his ears. "Isn't this awesome!" He boasts in excitement. I give an approving look but say nothing.

More time passes and eventually the hum of the needle stops. "Done! And it looks nice!" the woman states and hands me a mirror. I look at the reflection, it looks perfect. I love it, and it seems to fit my face nicely.

"Looks great!" Naruto exclaims looking at it.

" Cool." Sasuke states observing it with a small grin. I blush slightly and turn to the woman and thank her as she wraps the tattoo up and then we leave. And we're back out onto the streets with the flicker of streetlights illuminating the sidewalk as we walk.

"Gaara, your tattoo looks so awesome! What do you think about my pricing?"

" its cool" I state plainly, thinking about the different reactions I'm bound to get with this new tattoo. Walking behind me I hear Sasuke's stomach growl, I turn to him. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, lets go to Burger King or something." Naruto and I agree and start off in that direction.

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A/n: Yay! I finally got it done! Sorry about the shortness once again. And I have a nice idea laid out for the next chapter. And I might start an Itachi/Gaara fic based on the Poppy Z. Brite book Exquisite Corpse. Review my loves!

And yes, Queer duck is a real online cartoon. Its funny as hell. Sadly I don't own it.


	4. Chapter 4

Half Pain chapter 4

A/n: so sorry for the long wait…again. School, sports, friends, life, you know the drill.

Onward with the fic!

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(Sasukes POV)

It's nearing 9:30 by the time Burger King comes into sight; the letters on the light-up sign constantly flicker in random patterns; almost enough to give me a seizure. As we walk in Naruto waves to the cashiers, they give him a numb blank stare. Obviously not happy to be here, and not happy to see him. naruto seems to know everyone even though a lot of them can't stand him. We order our food and congregate at a table.

" Be right back, I'm going to talk to some of my homies!" Naruto skipped up to the counter and started chattering away with some of the lazy eyed cashiers.

Now it's just Gaara and me at the table. Sitting in an awkward silence; I nibbling on a burger, Gaara sipping at his soda. I noticed he doesn't eat much. A fly buzzes by, the sound of it ringing though the silence and seeming to stab my eardrums with prongs of noise.

" So…" I attempt to converse, something to kills this silence. "Does you head hurt, from you know, the tattoo?"

He stares back at me blankly behind those black rimmed eyes for a moment. " Yeah, sort of." He replies and sips more of his soda. Gaara has such a mysterious air about him, one that seems to draw me in endlessly. Maybe it's because he seems a lot like me. Quiet, dark, silent. But there is something different between him and me. Looking at him you can see his pain clearly, by the scars that liter his arms, his skeleton like build. Even his eyes reflect pain.

But I think I do a nice job of keeping my pain inside. Or maybe people do see it in my eyes as well, but they are too taken away by my appearance to question any further. I think of that as an advantage. This way I can keep to myself and deal with my pain my way. But I have this urge to spend more time with Gaara, alone. Naruto is like a leech sometimes.

" Hey, want to do something tomorrow, Without naruto?"

Gaara's head snaps up from examining the table, once again he looks at me for a moment before speaking. "Sure." His voice comes out a little shaky, "where?"

"there is this party I was going too, wanna come?"

"y-yeah, sounds great." Naruto bounced over with a carton of fries, stuffing them in his face.

"Hiya guys! I'm back!"

he can be so annoying at times.

Gaaras POV 

By the time I am walking up the stairs to Hakus place its really late. But I don't care, I couldn't care about anything right now. Sasuke asked to do something tomorrow, alone. And we're going to a party, which's really cool. I bet a bunch of popular people will be there, and I'll stand out like a sore thumb collecting their accusing gazes. But being with Sasuke will be enough to block them all out.

I open the door and walk into he apartment, Haku is walking around in smiley-face boxers, toweling his hair. My eyes widen at his flat chest…for a second I forgot he was a guy.

" So… did you have fun?" he asks in his cheerful voice while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Yeah, it was cool." I answer, leaving out the part about Sasuke, I don't want to lessen my bliss by sharing it, and seeing how tiny and insignificant it might be.

"That's great, and you got the tattoo! Awesome! Did it hurt?"

I lightly brush my fingers across the wrapping over the tender, newly inked skin. "not much."

" I can't wait to see it, I bet its pretty. Well I'm going to sleep. Goodnight." Haku pranced over and did something unexpected. He hugged me, then pulled me a little closer and gave me a kiss. A real kiss too. Then he gave a little smirk and walked into the bedroom.

I just stand there in shock for a few minutes. What the hell was that about? I'm not a very physical person, Haku knows that. I don't think I have ever been hugged by someone as attractive as him. I don't think I have been hugged by anyone in years. Then another thought dawns on me.

That was my first kiss.

I dwell on that thought for a while, I sit on the couch and stare absently at the flickering TV screen that casts a pale glow in the room. I really wanted my first kiss to be from Sasuke, since the time I met him. Sure Haku and me are close friends and I did have a crush on him at a time, but not anymore. Now I'm just confused. I thought Haku was with Zabuza. Dose this mean Haku likes me? Arg! Maybe this is nothing, maybe he just felt like giving me a kiss. I know I am probably making this a bigger deal then it really is. I grab my CD player lying by me and quickly turn it on. I need a break from thinking, and music is the best escape.

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A/n: Haku/gaara! Woot! Yay for crack! I'm try and throw that relationship in here. Well review my loves!


	5. My lucky number is 4 billion

A/n: Yay! Its finally done! Sorry it took so long to update, damn school. I was listening to Bright eyes and Rilo Kiley while I wrote this, you should listen to them too.

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"My lucky number is four billion. Doesn't come in handy when you're gambling. Come on four billion…fuck! Seven! Not even close! I'm going to need more dice…" One person says before drifting off into other particles of conversation.

I'm sitting next to Sasuke in a semi-circle with some other people who I vaguely recognize from school. The people whose faces I know but I don't really 'know' them. We're just talking and throwing a few jokes around.

The party is in a small hazy basement of a big house in an upper class neighborhood. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in, but I seem to blend pretty well. Everyone here is really laid back and mellow. And half are probably stoned out of their minds by the way they're acting, but I don't have a problem with that. I've seen Kankuro and Temari high plenty of times; though I haven't tried it much myself.

Sasuke leans over and whispers in my ear "Having fun?" the feeling of his breath on my skin sends chills through my body.

"y-yeah…" I manage to stutter out.

"Good. Lets go outside for a breather. It's full of smoke in here."

"Alright." We stand and exit the semi-circle. And go up the stairs and out the front door into the front yard. About 9 other people, that I sort of know and Sasuke seems to know them more then I do, are out there talking loudly. Sasuke and I walk up and jump into their conversation.

"Hey this party blows! Lets ditch this thing." A girl who looks like a senior from school complains to everyone else.

" Well Daylight Tragedy is playing down at Liquid Recordz. How about we go see them?" the guy turns to us " You two wanna come?" Sasuke turns to me a questioning look. This sounds like fun. Like music is always great, and with Sasuke just makes it all the more fun.

"Sure, why not."

"Ok! To the banana-mobile!" Everyone follows the one tall guy with a lip pricing dangling some keys to a bright yellow car, everyone files in. somehow we squeezed all but 2 people into the body of the car; and the other got into the trunk.

"How can they breathe in there?" Sasuke asks harshly raising as the car pulls away and out of the neighborhood and onto a dimly lit curvy road.

"Ph…they'll be fine! We do this all the time and besides, it's not that far." For a while we drive in silence, just sitting and staring at each other; until the person in the passenger seat popped a CD in.

(Sasukes POV)

I can easily recognize the first few haunting notes of 'Don't fear the reaper' by Blue oyster Cult. And as the band starts singing, the people in the car join in for an off-key sing along. They're missing some words and are off beat but at least they are trying. I just sit back and lean my head against the window listening. Gaara, being the smallest, is oddly situated laying on top of everyone else and his head is sort of in my lap, his eyes trying their hardest not to meet mine.

"…Seasons don't fear the reaper… Nor do the wind, sun or the rain… We can be like they are…come on baby…don't fear the reaper…we'll be able to fly…"

The sound of this song bring to mind a picture of the beach boys on heroine. My hand strays to Gaaras head, slowly I start to twirl the little red strands of silk around my finger, then untwirl it, and twirl it again. Gaara doesn't make any move to protest, so I continue as I stare out the window and think.

Liquid recordz is a stage/cd shop for local bands to perform and get a start in the music scene. I don't go there very much anymore, not like I did over the summer. And Daylight Tragedy is a pretty well known local screamo band. I know the singer and drummer, Brian and Alex, so I try to go to as many of their local shows as I can.

The song started winding to a close, the volume of the nearby voices intensified, practically screaming out the final verse, though the band sounded calm threw the speakers."…_came the last night of sadness, it was clear she couldn't go on. The door closed and the wind appeared. The candles blew and then disappeared. The curtains flew and then he appeared saying 'don't be afraid'. And she had no fear, and she ran to him. And they started to fly. She looked backward and said goodbye. She had become like they are…she had taken his hand…she had become like they are..." _(A/n: That song is great, I had to put the whole verse :P)

A breif odd silence passed through the car. Then a delicate start of 'Lover I don't have to love' by Bright eyes washed over the speakers. I really like this song, but can't listen to more then a minute of it, as we pull into the liquid records parking lot.

Everyone files out of the car, and the trunk is popped to let the addictional two passengers out, they gasp and praise the fresh cool air. As everyone stands around the car talking me and gaara head in, it's not like we know them that well so it's not rude to leave. And screw them if it is, I'm not waiting on their slow asses if it costs me a good spot. It's the usual crowd at this show, the 'alternative' crowd. But I'm here for the music, not the people, so I don't pay them much notice.

Gaara is trailing me like a little puppy, bumping into my back a few times when I stop short and then mubling apoligizes. To me it seems really cute.

I find us a spot in the middle of the crowd sort of near the stage, we throw a few conversations around akwardly. Gaara seems really nervous, I wish I knew why. He keeps figeting and avoiding eye contact. I want to try and loosen him up a bit, so he'll have fun."So have you listened to much daylight tragedey?"

" a few songs. Not many."

" Oh."

Silence between us againg. Not so much akward as aggravating. I want to talk but gaara just doesn't want too. Maybe he'll be more talkative after the show.

In a few more minutes the band come out and onto the stage, the crowd cheers for them; their voices all blend into a loud annoymous roar. Brain picks up the miicrophone and addresses his followers. "Hey, thank for coming out to our show tonight. So how many of you peopl know who we are?"

Another roar follows, though not as loud as the first.

"Well why did a bunch of people who don't know who we are come to our show? Hopefully you'll know and like us when you leave here. We're going to open up with Fire Flies." And as the band starts up the crowd explodes with ethusiasm with yelling and stupid dances. I can barely decipher the lyrics over the music and the yells.

A little into the show

" And this song is for our friends, who died in a drunk driving accident. Don't drink and drive please, it kills." 'A night to remember' started and people seem to really love this song. Lots of them are yelling along the band. I like this song too but I can contain myself.I look over to gaara, and he seems to be enjoying himself more now, I guess he just needed a little time to let go of all the tension.

Then halfway through the song a small group of people start ramming into everyone, pushing them out of the way to form a circle in the middle of the crowd. This stickly girl with short black hair shoves into gaara, pushing him into my chest. Then about 15 jump into the cirlce and moshing. Not very violent moshing though. It seems more like they are having sezuires while figting each other and just swinging their limbs around in an anamilictic disply.

It's very amusing to watch.

For a second I contemplate jumping in too, I bet that would surprise Gaara. But I don't, I am so collected all the time its hard to let go at all. I'm always trapped inside myself and this wall of doubt and lies I have built up over the years I and can't even let go at all to have a little fun. My spirits sink thinking about how pathetic I am, I could almost drown in my angst at the thought.

No.

I'm not going to let stupid things like this get to me down tonight. Tonight I am going to enjoy, and try to have fun.

"_Its over! It's over! It's over!…" _Brian screams to the crowd as they screm back the memorized lyrics. And I screm too. I screm at the top of my lungs, my voice blends with everyone elses into that loud annoymous roar again. Surprisingly Gaara joins me in screaming, even though he's right behind me, his voice is like a whisper lost in the storm. Right then I make a decision, and I grab his hand in mine, holding it tight. His eyes widen and he looks at me, btu makes no attempt to pull away.

I'm glad.

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A/n: This chapter is only half as long as I wanted it to be, but I wanted to get up, so yeah. REVIEW! And listen to that song by Blue Oyster Cult, cause it's awesome. If you want to listen to daylight tragedy, search for them at thanks to my wonderful reviewers.

Spork ai, TheFutureFreakMeOut, Ky0kichi, Go-ruden Kiba, Junsui Kegasu, Catmeowh44, Kuri, and Dark Kunoichi.

Because reviews love and inspiration.


	6. Chapter 6

Half Pain

Finally an update

A/n: Guess who's the only person that is cool enough to update almost 6months later? I am!

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((Gaaras POV))

After the show me and Sasuke stumble out amongst crowds of people, my hand still clasped in his. We cross the dark parking lot together over to the banana-mobile. It almost glows in the dark. Creepy. Most of the people we came with are lounging around the car, laughing their heads off and stumbling around; $10 says all of them are intoxicated.

" Look! The two little ones came back!" The senior girl points and yells, using the car to support herself.

"Who are we waiting for now?" The guy with the lip piercing complained. "It's nearly 1am I wanna leave!"

"Play some music! I wanna dance!" That seniors girl is getting on my nerves, her face reminds me of one of those stupid 'Whos' from the 'Grinch who stole Christmas". Lip guy puts a CD in, the first song is this upbeat song by Billy Idol. It screams 80's. Some people dance some sing, but Sasuke just stands by me close and still. Feeling a bit daring I sing a quite verse in his ear.

"_You spin me right round, baby. Right round, like a record baby, right round round round_."

He smiles. I melt inside.

The rest of the group gathers at the car, its getting really late. I hope Haku doesn't get mad, though I don't he will; It's almost impossible to get a rise out of him.

" I am not riding in that stupid trunk again! Get some other people to!" This kid with bleached hair about our age screams at Lip guy. I flinch back, angry people are scary, and I don't like conflict.

"Me and Gaara will." Sasuke speaks up, completely sure of himself. I turn to look at him, I can't read whatever he's thinking, so I just go along. He helps me crawl into the trunk and he follows. The door shuts and we are alone as the car pulls off onto the dark curvy road we came on. We toss and turn as they speed, it's almost terrifying thinking that we're at their mercy of their driving skills. I'm starting to regret this. I should know better then getting in a car with complete stranger, let alone the trunk.

Sasuke must sense the tension filling me, he reaches for me again and pulls me close. Real close. This only makes me more tense, I look up at him to find his eyes, but meet his lips instead. Firm and strong but soft like heaven against mine. He lays several small kisses all over my face and down my neck.

I could die happy right now.

((Sasukes' POV))

After a while we just lay there holding each other close, breathing in each other's sweet and intoxicating scents. It feel so unbelievably good to have him here in my arms; to have that soft red hair brushing against my cheek, listening to his breathing and feeling his heartbeat against my chest. This trunk is like a warm dark womb, where I can keep him near and safe from everything that makes him hurt. You can see the torment in his eyes, but for tonight I want to make it all disappear.

I pull him closer, holding him tight, much like a child hugs a teddy bear through the night. I would love to drown in his emerald eyes, but it's so dark, I can see anything. Instead I run my fingertips gently over the curves of his face, learning them.

And right as I am about to lay a gentle kiss on his forehead the car stops, leaches forward, and rolls back. My head slams into his face bending his nose at a strange angle.

"Erhm…Sorry. Your nose all right?" I mumble awkwardly.

"Yeah, it's fine." He whispers back. Silence follows.

Damn it, this stop had better be worth it.

There are voice outside the car, we listen in.

"Umm..how may I help you officer?" We hear lip guy say.

"DO you know how fast you were driving? Pretty damn fast. License and registration please."

Gaara cracks his knuckles nervously, I reach for his hand and hold it tight.

"Ok, these check out" The cop says. "Do you know your eyes are bloodshot?"

"Ummm" Lip guy struggles for a line, some kind of excuse to save his hide. "I have allergy's…stupid pollen."

"Heh, so does this entire car have allergies?" The cop smirks back.

"Yes, yes they do."

"Pretty cocky, get out, We have to search this car.

Weight shifts and people groan. Now even I am nervous, Gaara clings to me and we wait, barely breathing. Doors open and the cop crawls around searching, from one end of the car to the other. "Ah-ha!" He exclaims after a few minutes of searching. "Marijuana. I'm going to have to take this." Weight shifts as he gets out, "Now just for the trunk." I swear my heart stopped right then.

"Oh, you don't have to check the trunk…" Lip guys says nervously.

"Standard procedure, besides, not like you have dead bodies or something in there." The trunk pops and he slowly lifts it. His eyes meet my nervous ones, he looks over me and Gaara clinging to each other and then just shakes his head. "Well…I've never seen this before."

Silence. Everyone exchanges glances, waiting nervously for the cops verdict.

"Man, you kid's is crazy. Now head on home, and get these fellows outta the trunk." He says calmly, pocketing the green.

"Thank you officer! You're my new favorite cop!" Lip guy exclaims and hugs him. Everyone scatters into the car and we speed off into the night.

((Gaaras POV))

The door creaks open, I try to be quiet coming in, in case Haku is asleep. Ice cream cartons are scattered across the floor and the Rocky Horror Picture show is blinking on the TV; I turn it off and head silently into the back room. As soon as I enter it I see Haku sobbing on the bed, tears glistening in the faint moonlight.

"Haku…?"

He looks up, and run's over and latches to me, sobbing even more. "Oh Gaara…" Tears choke him up.

"What's wrong?" I ask in distraut.

It takes him a minute to speak. "Zabuza and me…broke up." He sits on the end of the bed, hold his face in his hands, chest heaving with quiet sobs. I kneel by him.

"This is terrible…" Haku is so dependent and so in love with Zabuza, his heart must be in turmoil.

"I know…A-and it was just so sudden too…" He trails off and lies back on the bed. I look helplessly, I hate to see him hurting. I start to go towards my bed, but his voice catches me "Hey Gaara? Could you lay with me tonight? So I don't feel so lonely…" I stare at him puzzled for a second, then grab a pillow and settle near him for an uneasy sleep of worry and thoughts about everything gone on today; especially of Sasuke.

'God damn life is complicated.' I think to myself before the sandman takes me.

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A/n; w00t! More soon! )


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